I’m sitting in my garden on a warm summer evening.

Like many of you, like a deep sea diver forced suddenly to the surface, I’m experiencing the rapid decompression which comes from going from a high stress, high tempo and emotionally demanding role to… well… nothing.

My friends outside teaching look incredulous when I talk about my job. I’m a primary school headteacher (well, Exec HT these days) and therefore, in their eyes, live a genteel professional life of twee assemblies and meetings at county hall. And I get it. I’m not a member of the SAS, nor working down a mine. I wear the whitest of white collars.

And yet, these same people don’t have public-facing roles at a time when a restless country likes to take out its fury on the few public institutions which will allow them through the door.

Don’t get me wrong – I adore my job and the schools I have been fortunate enough to lead. And I’m good at it – I think – my two schools OFSTEDs, SATs outcomes and healthy intake numbers over the last year will testify. Being a headteacher is all I wanted to do. A civic responsibility bestowed upon those who would be willing to take on the challenge to lead communities. I have every one of the lanyards I got to wear on the way to where I now stand and look forward to yet another new lanyard in September when the balance of ‘being a headteacher’ and ‘being a system leader for the Trust’ moves more from the former to the latter (2 days Exec HT, 3 days Trust Director).

But in taking off my lanyard, I am suddenly acutely aware of its weight. Something I carry around for 11 months of the year is suddenly removed.

So in this short rambling, I try to make sense of this load that we school leaders must carry around our necks.

The weight that is ours to carry

Some weights simply come with the job.

Governments will legislate. Inspectors will inspect. Staff will grumble. Children will misbehave. Outcomes will measure. Governors/ LAs/ Trusts will hold to account.

These are the accountabilities which come with our salary level. We either accept them or find a different job.

They are not an easy load to bare, especially when carried for the first time. All these weighed disproportionately on my mind as a young and, so very green, headteacher almost twenty years ago. And yet, these things don’t weigh at all on my mind after all that time carrying them around. Their jeopardy diminishes when you see that few outcomes are as bad as those experienced in your mind.

Try to carry these weights lightly. Don’t over-think them or catastrophise about professional cliff edges which you’ll constantly worry about, but rarely have to stand on. And, from someone who’s gone over that accountability cliff edge a couple of times, usually you just get a bit wet and learn how to avoid such pitfalls in the future.

The weights that society has loaded upon us

I do worry that the weight school leaders have been expected to carry has increased significantly in the last (post-Covid) years.

If schools are a microcosm of society at large, a stressed society soon finds its way in, magnified by a two decade long reduction in preventative services. Whether it be poverty, a decline in social cohesion, a broken SEND system or a rupture in the social contract between state and the citizen, all these beat a path to our door/ inbox.

For schools serving disadvantaged communities, the weight comes from knowing that in the fifth richest country on the planet, not all our children get the support and resources which they need to thrive. The weight of knowing that our best efforts can’t counterbalance the weight of poverty which is loaded onto the backs of struggling families hangs heavy.

Other weights come from the frustrations felt as a result of these and other pressures.

I had been a headteacher 15 years before I received a single formal complaint. Two years ago I had 9. Last year I had 5 – some of which had been entirely written by AI.

My instagram account has worked out that an element of my role is linked to SEND. And so I’m bombarded by rage-bait reels by would-be ‘influencers’ on how to paralyse a school with SAR’s. The narrative fed directly to a restless public does little to calm worried minds and instead feels a sense of distrust in institutions and ‘experts’.

This is the load I find the hardest to carry.

An angry father swearing and threatening to punch me on the nose? I have seen this aggression periodically over the last twenty years and whilst deeply unpleasant at the time, it is a weight that lightens quickly.

An angry parent in the foyer demanding a meeting? Again, I have found that human connection and understanding quickly defuses almost all these conflicts.

A letter written my a machine, quoting statue? A parent told by the rage-bait ‘influencers’ not to meet with the school and to conduct everything via (AI written) email? These are currently the heaviest of weights for me as they have no obvious solution.

How to lighten the load.

But with the weight of it all, we must remember this…

People are generally good, and kind and fair.

We must greet each AI-written missive with kindness and resolve – and human to human interaction. Our school communities are a reflection of society and the cure for anger is connection and clarity. We must be clear about what our schools stand for and not be afraid to articulate this hopefully and loudly.

The other accountability stuff?

Well, whilst we may question measures which seem unfair, moaning about inspections and exams is unlikely to brings about much change. Have this fight if you want to but don’t dream that this will free you of the yoke you carry.

Better still, be good at your job. Learn what really matters and what is simply noise. The better you make your school, the stronger your ability to carry its weight will become and the less will be the ability of others to load weight upon you.

In the main the weight won’t become lighter, but your back will become stronger and, as such, it will not pull you down.

Enjoy the lightness – but also value the weight as a privilege of office.

So, as we sit in our sunny back gardens, enjoy the lightness this brings.

Enjoy the carefree moments which we have to look forward to over the next month – it is a gift of time few get to enjoy.

But, when the time comes to don your lanyard once more, remember this: it is a privilege to carry this load. To be so trusted by a society and community that they put you in charge of forming the values and beliefs of the next generation. Being trusted to make the difficult decisions.

Don your lanyard with a smile and know that what you do matters. That little by little the weight you carries helps to improve individual lives and with it build a better world.

But, for now, enjoy the lightness of summer.